Dear Daughter, Letter One

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Dear Future Daughter,

If you turn out to be straight and find yourself in the terrible misfortune of having a crush on a celebrity, do yourself a favor -- turn back.  (And if you turn out to be interested in women, then you are probably in even worse luck, as the female you are lusting after will likely be straight.  If not, she will -- though perhaps in your time this will no longer be the case -- be one of the few visibly "out" bi/lesbian celebrities and you will suffer the same terrible fate as your straight counterparts.)

Sure, it's fun when you're twelve or thirteen, but as you grow older, you may find yourself idealizing the celebrity of your choice and find that no "normal" boy lives up to the unachievable standards you have set out for your "soulmate".  And you will hurt, especially if you are a jealous girl like I can be.  Nothing will ever be enough; you will always want something more from a stranger who owes you little.  It won't be fun anymore and you won't be easily able to find your way out of it.  You will find yourself alone in a maze of loud strangers, having given up on the fight but still stuck in the mess.  And just as lost as ever.

My advice is this: live your life consciously, meaningfully.  Fill your time with activities you are interested in, not something that the boy you like enjoys or an activity you think will eventually ensnare the boy of your dreams.  Enjoy your youth, because it will soon be gone.

I could go on for longer with bits of wisdom I have picked up over the years, but I'll save that for another letter.

Your Future Mom

P.S.  You might want to take a listen to Adele's "He Won't Go" because it is awesome.
Or "Someone Like You".

And then try to learn from her mistakes.

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