... in which Jordan Knight looks flawless and superhuman

Monday, April 11, 2011

I have decided to take leave (at least from the never-ending barrage of NKOTB videos on YouTube) of my newly minted infatuation with Mr. Jordan Knight so I can be a productive human being. Until Juneish, at which time I can pump myself up for the NKOTBSB concert. Lest my two months of lusting after Jordan ever go to waste, here is the evidence of my extensive and meticulous research, the creme de la creme I have dug up after hours of poring over YouTube. I share with anyone who is new to this and would like to save themselves some time -- Mr. Jordan Knight at his hottest.

1 - 1989: "Youthquake"

The innocent, shy, giggly days. That smile, that laugh. The wisecracks.

2 - December 7, 1990: New Kids On The Block Pay-Per-View concert, Providence, RI

"You happen to be my brother, is that true?" Precious. Hot, but precious.

3 - December 7, 1990: New Kids On The Block Pay-Per-View concert, Providence, RI

Don't know how I feel about the shirt, but damn, is he hot.

4 - November 19, 1990: "The Oprah Winfrey Show"

I couldn't choose between part 1, during which Jordan looks pissed at the insane screaming girls and consequently looks hot as you-know-what, part 2, in which Jordan tries to play it cool, and part 3, where Jordan finally cracks a smile and looks uncomfortable as shiz while Donnie describes him. I chose part 3, mostly because the screaming finally dies down a little.

5 - 1988: "Please Don't Go Girl" music video

The thing I find the most comical about this music video is that Joey Joe is so damn serious and Jordan is so mischievous/cocky when, for just around 90% of the rest of the New Kids' time together, it was the other way around. It was either this video or the Oprah episode above that first made me realize Jordan was, um, GORGEOUS 20 years too late.

6 - November 1989: "The Today Show"

Back to the innocence, the dorkiness and the funny comments that no one responds to, thus making Jordan think he has said something wrong. And so maybe he has.

7 - 1991: American Music Awards

Those hips, that walk. He is neither flawless nor superhuman here: he messes up his dance twice and his vocals kinda suck. One must assume even Adonises get sick once in a while ... looking beautiful all the while.

8 - September 1989: "The Joan Lunden Show"

I don't know. That face, the dancing. Those spindly legs. That socks-with-dress shoes look that wouldn't fly now but looks so damn good on Jordan K. I just don't know. He's just got a certain "je ne sais quoi".

9 - 1989: "Friday Night Videos"

Strangely enough, Jordan for a few seconds in this video reminds me of Megan Fox. And Megan Fox is HOT. Pure logic at work here.

10 - 2009: New Kids On The Block cruise announcement?

I'm gonna throw the dog a bone here. Here he is, 20 years later, still looking good. There are other recent videos of him in which he looks good (like this one, in which he actually looks like a completely different man).

Two other videos that almost made the cut:
1991: "Call It What You Want" music video
There is just something about Jordan Knight and baseball caps, sideways or backwards.
1991: Smash Hits Awards
Random bit in which Jordan says "hi" awkwardly to the host 3 times and proceeds to tell her he is hungry. And looks hot while doing so, of course.

So, what did we learn from all this "wasted" time on YouTube? Maxine is most attracted to 18 to borderline-21 year-old Jordan Knight. He was probably hottest at age 20, but his dorkiness between 18 and 20 certainly did not hurt him. Neither did the braces.

À bientôt mais pas adieu, young Jordan K.

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2 comments

  1. Great article thank you so much! I've recently re-discovered the very hot and sexy Mr Jordan Knight and spend most nights after work googling random videos of his awesomeness :-)

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    Replies
    1. Glad you enjoyed it -- I had a good time doing "research" for it! ;)

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